Lifeslurper is surely feeling the response to reader’s thoughts on the previous post, The Greatest Infertility Myths and Clichés. I had to admit, thanks to high-levels of secrecy aimed at avoiding future embarrassment, when that baby does not ‘materialise’ after a lengthy round of IVF cycles, I am mostly free of the stupid things people say to those suffering from infertility.
‘Baby?’ I will be able to deflect anyone who dare suspect; ‘what baby?’
Being mostly free of these personally directed clichés means I have more time to direct most of my anger towards the way the media portrays infertility.
Media attitudes towards IVF conceived babies are possibly my main motivation towards my IVF secrecy. I want to keep my potential child free of school yard taunts of “test tube” or “designer” based on media spread IVF ignorance.
Just how often do I have to read a newspaper headline which screams ‘designer baby’ in reference to ART conceived children? Recent coverage of the 30th birthday of the world’s first IVF baby unleashed a whole slew of ‘test tube’ references.
Every story about genetic disease, IVF statistics, or clinic errors are invariably connected by the media to this science fiction idea of a ‘designer’ race of human beings; selected for eye colour or high levels of intelligence.
Sure, IVF does assists in avoiding the continuation of rare hereditary disorders through the availability of genetic screening. Yet somehow the ‘designer’ baby tag makes ART reek of some expensive trendy item that is sort after by the fashionable, ‘beautiful’ people of western society.
Suddenly I imagine a Paris Hilton or Victoria Beckham type too busy to make a baby by the old-fashioned method of rumpy-pumpy, followed by a nine month long gestation turning to a glossy, expensively produced catalogue to select their ‘designer’ baby.
‘I want a baby girl!’ Posh would point to the exact model in the catalogue hers would be based on. No cheap knock offs for Victoria, no this would be a one-off created from David and hers combined rich genetic pickings;
‘She’s got ‘ter have my pout, David’s personality, and my taste in fashion…..’ Victoria would select the characteristics required to produce her designer baby.
Staff at the glamorous showroom would be able to demonstrate what their designer bub would look like, producing a CGI image which would float down a central runway, swathed in the latest designer label bub duds for the exclusive crowd to mull over possible design improvements.
At the end of the show, the gold AMEX card would be flashed by a member of the entourage and in around 40 weeks, David and Victoria would have their designer bundle delivered to one of their mansions. Easy!
Media references to IVF and these alleged ‘designer’ aspects make ART sound as straight forward as going on a two year waiting list and eventually whacking down five figures in cash to purchase a Hermes’ Birkin handbag. Okay, successive attempts at IVF can take over two years and cost well into five figure sums. Despite time and money, many of us have little more than emotional scars to show after two years. I am not sure that many who have endured infertility would find a handbag, no matter how luxurious and fashionable as much of a consolation prize. It would simply be a case of; ‘I did IVF and all I got was this lousy handbag!’
A baby to love is the ultimate prize. IVF is not a cynical grab by average people to partake in the creation of a master race.
Genetic screening for hereditary disease is important in IVF. However, aspects of prenatal search for disease existed long before ART. Genetic screening is a modern development which may spare much heart break and disease. It still remains only one reason why people turn to ART to conceive a baby. For many, there is no other means to achieve conception. Each headline grabbing print article bringing with it a barrage of ‘affront to God’, ‘master race’ and ‘try adoption instead’ comments from the very people who do not have the ability to measure tabloid sensationalism in a more even manner. Such harsh judgements from the rest of society only serve to make infertility that bit harder for the average ART patient.
For men and women all over the world inflicted with infertility IVF offers hope of family. Something that is intrinsically more valuable than any handbag.
Has anyone else got any media pet peeves concerning IVF and infertility?
I have to say i totally agree. One thing i’m pissed off with at the moment is the movie baby mama. The surogate (sp) one. I hate the way its turned infertility into a comedy for all fertiles to enjoy and poke fun at. I really don’t see how finding out your infertile and having to pick a surogate then dealing with all that comes form it could be found at all funny. That is unless hollywood steps in and makes it all easy, fun, cutesie, comical and of couse don’t forget the happy ending. Ahhh just pisses me off that the whole worlds gonna see it and think that infertility is nothing. What you whinging about just go get a suroget like that movie. ahhh
Oh and the angelina jolie thing ahh that pisses me off too. If the rumors a true and she did use ivf cause ‘they wanted it to happen quickly’. Are you kidding me now everyone will think ivf women are to lazy to do it the ole’ fashioned way or we’re just doing it to get multipuls to have an instant family or somthing. I mean there are so many ignorant people out there who WILL believe this stuff and already have some very screwed ideas of what ivf is and how it works already.
I wish someone would make a real movie about ivf a drama of sorts. Or a show like the one antonia kidman did with all the preggo women and their journeys but with ivf women and do it over a period of like 5 yrs so people can really get a feel for it and really understand it.
thanks for listening
I think it is totally amazing how shorouded in secrecy and misinformation IVF is. I know that this time around I have told a lot more people about IVF and one of my main reasons for doing so is that I want to educate people about what it involves so that fertiles can learn about it and understand exactly what it is we go through. While I think sometimes people make bloody stupid comments, I think it is largely through ignorance. I don’t know that I would have been any better if tables had been turned and I was on the fertile side of the fence rather than the infertile one. I had an interesting experience the other day where I was telling someone that I was IVFing for the first time (‘cos the bloody clinic rang me right when I was trying to have lunch with this person and I had to explain why I very rudely had to take the call and have a lengthy conversation). The person was able to be quite empathetic and show some knowledge about IVF as they had read a chapter about it in Lance Armstrong’s book.
I know that we complain about the media and other people’s stupid comments. I like to think that it is in our power to change that to make it easier for those that come after us.