Secret Lifeslurper Fertility Weapon

Today Lifeslurper is featuring our very first guest blogger.

It is very fitting that this inaugural occasion should be given to Jodie Flynn; a woman who carries much of my survival through the wretchedness I know as IVF.

Recently Lifeslurper was ‘outed’ by a reader comment left by Jodie. Not that I was keeping secrets. Clearly anyone reading this blog will know there isn’t too much I am prepared to leave out. It was just that I hadn’t quite got to that stage of the story. Okay, it takes me a long time to get to any part of a story. Any short story left in my hands can very quickly become a long story. I wrote a post called Fantasy IVF about all the extras that are required to get through this whole IVF business. I left out the fact that I have a fertility coach in that post thinking that I would quickly get around to revealing my secret IVF weapon. My fertility coach, Jodie Flynn saw the post before I got around to mentioning her and I was outed!

 A fertility coach? Don’t worry; it is a fairly new concept to me too

It didn’t take long in this process to realise I was without support. Sure I have Wobbles, and he is very patient and listens to my every IVF comment, theory and pain. Yet he himself admits to feeling limited in being able to share this. He doesn’t have a uterus and can only imagine what it feels like to have a body so under pressure and scrutiny. I also wanted to be able to free up the wonderful relationship I have with Wobbles so it would not be completely be consumed by the spectre of IVF. 

Early on, I knew something was missing. The fertility clinic is partly to blame here, as I certainly feel there is much more they could do to make patients aware of exactly what they will be facing. I recognised the need to get some additional emotional support, and took to seeing a psychologist. I was no stranger to therapy, and did not mind having to speak to a male. Wobbles, all of my doctors, and each of my successive fertility specialists have been male. This guy, while kind, wanted to do the full cognitive number on me. I needed help managing the arduousness of IVF; its many delays; its constant frustration; and its many disappointments. In no time flat, I could see my life unravelling in a way that years of a major depression had never quite succeeded. These problems were all new, and often outside of my own control. I needed help and I needed it fast. I found it hard to bring myself to mention my desire to have a baby, and the related IVF attempts. I felt embarrassed about my own situation, and after a couple of one hour sessions could not see me feeling comfortable. I gave up the counselling. It was not going to make me any stronger in the face of IVF.

Meantime I had met Jodie via the Internet. We had much in common, what with IVF and a history of various physical ailments. Finally it seemed someone could ‘get’ what I was on about. We had many a discussion about what was wrong with the clinics, and the lack of support. Jodie was experiencing her own IVF traumas, and like so many of us, used this as momentum to reassess and make some life changes, and fulfil her dream of becoming a life coach. I applauded her decision, and immediately knew this was something she’d be excellent at. Her energy levels were breath-taking. My goodness, the woman has climbed to the base camp of Mount Everest! I instinctively knew there was much in her positive attitude to life that I sorely needed in my own pessimistic one. I was at the same time envious and proud.

I was all along feeling I needed guidance in my approach to IVF, but had no clues as to how to find that. Still I kept scanning the Internet for an answer. That answer came one afternoon when Wobbles emailed me an article from the British newspaper, The Independent. In one blinding flash, I had my answer; I needed a fertility coach. Two seconds later, another blinding flash; (how I managed not to get a headache, I will never know!) this would be perfectly suited to Jodie’s talents. Without an explanation, I emailed the article directly on to Jodie, and soon began to worry about appearing pushy. My instincts proved correct, minutes later I received an excited text and a career in fertility coaching was born. Oh course, I am putting in a claim for a percentage of Jodie’s earnings! 

Point is I recognised the need to be relaxed and focussed throughout IVF. I wanted to find strategies to better cope with the affects IVF has on the rest of my life and relationships. I needed (and found!) a dedicated confidant….a fertility mentor if you like. Jodie can be credited (some might say blamed!) for prompting me to create this blog.

Sure, fertility coaching will not make my eggs any younger, or make my body more likely to conform to what medical science asks of it, but it is certainly making dealing with infertility and IVF a lot less emotionally challenging. I have been able to grab back the control I felt the clinics stole from me at the beginning of this process, something that gives me the strength to see this through to whatever end awaits us.