lifeslurper

Too much to swallow?

This infertility malarkey requires us to take a number of rather wide leaps of faith. During an IVF cycle we might find ourselves willingly injecting ourselves with various synthetic hormones and other lovely scientific creations designed to stimulate our bodies into doing all manner of amazing things.

Of course, the honour of doing this only occurs after we have signed our lives away, by acknowledging that the clinic and doctors are not responsible for any future health issues that might be visited upon us or worse still, our future offspring and every generation thereafter, it would seem.

We hear stories of side-affects, waiting anxiously for any signs that the medications are taking over our sluggish bodies, and panic if we do not feel that our ovaries are groaning under the strain of rapidly expanding follicles. A Synarel headache can be a mixed blessing. This seemingly harmless nasal spray can render the IVF patient sensitive to light, smells and noise. It can also bring on mood swings and hot sweaty flushes. The good news is, in experiencing these symptoms, we can assume the gonadotrophin releasing hormone is doing its job. Hallelujah!

Then there are those times between cycles. Many theories abound. IVF clients develop our own theories. Some avoid alternative therapies, others are willing to submit their bodies to all manner of potions and pills to kick start or clear out are poor abused innards. Lifeslurper belongs to the latter group. My philosophy being that there is nothing left to lose. My 44 year old ovaries have been asked for very little until this last year. Having been remotely controlled been controlled by medical science more recently, I worry they might forget the tasks they have been sent to perform; to grow their most bumper crop of follicles filled with only the greatest quality eggs.

This hiatus from undergoing constant IVF cycles has provided the first opportunity to delve further into naturopath’s Mrs Vile Tonic’s herbal theories. Herbal and Chinese medicines are, we are repeatedly warned, not to be used during IVF cycles. These may interfere with treatment. Cautious alternative health practitioners like my own Mrs Vile Tonic are unwilling to prescribe any herbal potions while we linger even briefly between IVF cycles. I promised to give thoughts of my fifth cycle a rest for a while, and so my twice daily regime of swallowing an exhausting array of vitamin pills and potions.

Before this stopover on the way to IVF Cycle V I was taking the fertility specialist recommended; 

• Elevit (x1) – vitamin and minerals for pregnancy and lactation. 

• Blackmores I-Folic (x1) – for optimizing folic acid and iodine levels. 

Once IVF Cycle IV was over, Mrs Vile Tonic suggested I take a number of things, mostly to assist with ongoing back problems; 

• Metagenics Fibroplex Plus (2 tsp x 2) – Magnesium supplementation for relief of Fibromyalgia (muscle pain.) 

• Metagenics Meta Zinc with Vitamin C (.5 tsp x 2) – boosting the immune system and reduce the severity of colds and upper respiratory tract infections. 

• BioCeuticals UltraClean EPA/DHA and Omega-3 (x3) – for brain and cognitive function, blood triglyceride levels, cardiovascular function, and anti-inflammatory properties. 

Once the gap between cycles extended out that bit longer the following were added;

• Metagenic NeuroCalm (x3) – A herbal blend for the management of stress, nervous tension and mild anxiety. 

• Herbal tonic (2x 8ml) – A foul tasting potion made of ground unicorn horn, elephant tusk, fibres from the Shroud of Turin, scrapings from the sarcophagus of an ancient Egyptian pharaoh, and various roots and berries. Only a sip of ambrosia could rid a mere mortal of the nasty after-taste of this concoction. Lifeslurper has to make do with pineapple juice. My elderly ovaries will have to be slumbering deeply, or even comatose, to not be shocked into wakefulness by this mixture. 

Just to make sure that I do rattle, coenzymes have been ordered and will be added to the routine shortly.

Is this too much to swallow?

Have I allowed myself to become too influenced by a hope offered outside of the fertility clinic?

How much should I swallow to increase my fertility?

What are you prepared to swallow to make your baby dreams possible?