lifeslurper

Public Service Announcement from Lifeslurper

Call off the search and rescue people!

Remember me?

I am still here. Thank you for your cards and flowers.

The viral infection that has uncomfortably inhabited me for almost four weeks has decided to stay. It likes me that much! I can no longer feel my back hurting, thanks to the pain of a death rattle cough that now causes me to wet myself – regularly.

The wheeze of my rasping breathe is running interference on the negative messages from my brain.

There have been five visits to the doctor in the last three weeks for increasingly higher doses of antibiotics, steroidal medicines, and for the first time in thirty years, an asthma puffer.

First Dr Cutey MD was away, now I wheeze at him as we pass in the corridors of the same clinic. I stumble between appointments and tests with Dr Wheeze assuming care as my emergency progressed and my friend the infection refused to stay dormant in my young doctor’s absence.

Today it was a round of lung and blood tests, plus a chest x-ray. Tomorrow it is another doctor’s appointment.

Now next week’s laparoscopy - oh yes, I was going to mention that should I ever get around to posting again! - is now cancelled.

IVF and one thousand other concerns - selling up house and home and leaving town (to name but a few areas of interest) have become distant annoyances tugging away at my conscience at a sometimes respectful distance.

I am tired.

I have been here before.

I am not sure when I will get back up again.

I have the love of Wobbles, but am not sure how much of this he deserves to endure. Months of illness, loss of income, loss of progress will not help this baby making caper.

Time is pain.

With one stroke of fate, the grinding down to 45 just leapt forward by several months. Time taken to recover from four IVF cycles and find health and fitness has become something entirely different.

Once again, uncertainty is my closest friend.

That is the update for now.