Newly post operative, post-illness and post-sanity Lifeslurper now attempts to dive headlong into the Christmas spirit by composing this yuletide re-work of a classic. To be sung to the tune of Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport….no just kidding…to be sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas.
Note to all critics (especially those who have previously savaged my attempts at lyrics or poetry) go easy! To Lifeslurper’s kind readers, by all means make suggestions for improvement.
Merry Christmas to all! Wishing postive results for those still waiting for one, and great health to those now on their way to parenthood!
The Twelve Months of IVF
On the first month of IVF,
My fertility clinic sent to me
A bill for thousands of dollars.
On the second month of IVF,
My fertility clinic sent me to
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
On the third month of IVF,
My fertility clinic sent to me
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
On the fourth month of IVF,
My fertility clinic sent to me
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
On the fifth month of IVF,
My fertility clinic started me on
First of five down reg cycles.
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
On the sixth month of IVF,
My fertility clinic sent to me
Six boxes of FSH,
First of five down reg cycles.
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
On the seventh month of IVF,
My fertility clinic sent me to
Seven internal ultrasounds,
Six boxes of FSH,
First of five down reg cycles.
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
On the eighth month of IVF,
My fertility clinic said I had
Eight millimetre follicles,
Seven internal ultrasounds,
Six boxes of FSH,
First of five down reg cycles.
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
On the ninth month of IVF,
My fertility clinic extracted from me
Nine whole eggs!,
Eight millimetre follicles,
Seven internal ultrasounds,
Six boxes of FSH,
First of five down reg cycles.
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
By the tenth month of IVF,
My fertility clinic had produced for us,
Ten fragmented embryos,
Nine whole eggs!,
Eight millimetre follicles,
Seven internal ultrasounds,
Six boxes of FSH,
First of five down reg cycles.
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
By the eleventh month of IVF,
My fertility clinic had transferred to me
Eleven would be babes,
Ten fragmented embryos,
Nine whole eggs!,
Eight millimetre follicles,
Seven internal ultrasounds,
Six boxes of FSH,
First of five down reg cycles.
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
By the twelfth month of IVF,
My fertility clinic had put me through
Twelve months of dashed hopes,
Eleven would be babes,
Ten fragmented embryos,
Nine whole eggs!,
Eight millimetre follicles,
Seven internal ultrasounds,
Six boxes of FSH,
First of five down reg cycles.
Four pathology collection slips,
Three months prescription to the pill,
Two counselling sessions and
A bill for thousands of dollars.
This great!
I love it! You did a great job of transcribing the events that occurred. An interesting approach, yet wonderfully executed. Keep it up…