Relationship Clouds

 “I want to know why clouds

Come in between you and I”

From You in the Sky by Mike Scott

The honest truth is that lately I feel you have not really been there for me. Wherever ‘there’ is!

I suspect that supporting me through this is too much to ask of you, and now you are getting tired.

It was a lot to ask, I know that now. I thought I knew it then, but I really know it now.

Early in our relationship, if only for a while, you seemed to want this as much as me. Now, I feel I am alone in this. You are backing away from the responsibilities you agreed to.

I have never felt so alone.

Sure, there have been doubts all along. I am first to admit it. But if you renege now, I have no hope of continuing without you. Is that what you really want? Is this anyway for you to behave?

You knew I was older than the other women who had come before me, and you claimed that was not a problem for you. I am not so sure now. Thinking back, I can see where you began to change your view. Maybe you should stick with a younger crowd?

If it really is too difficult for you, perhaps it would be better for both of us now if you would just admit that in hindsight you were wrong? I need your full support. Not your part-time or casual support. No, I need more from you than I am quite frankly getting now.

Our agreement was not carved in stone, but it was a contract we made together. It has left us stuck in a world of indecision and inconsistency. The costs are starting to take their toll. How can we go on paying the price – both emotional and financial – with me consuming so many hormones and chemicals without your support?

Okay, so maybe we did not have a defined idea of what precisely your role would be at the onset. Maybe now is the time to work that out, if it not already too late?

We don’t have much time left. Time has always been the enemy in this. Time and the strength of belief. I admit that I have come to rely on your strength of belief and your commitment to our goals. Perhaps I set my expectations too high, and that is why I now feel so disappointed in you. Some days, I sense you have no guilt over how you have let me down. At my worst, I fear you see nothing wrong with the way you have behaved.

This situation has gone beyond ‘do or die.’ It is all or nothing, and you promised you would follow through. That sadly, has not been our reality.

Our only way out is to work on our communications, our organisation, our commitment and our honesty.

Is that too much to ask?

If it is, then please tell me now.

I need to know.

For our baby hopes rest entirely with you, Fertility Clinic.

You are now officially on notice. Don’t mess us around again!