For reasons unknown to this Lifeslurper, I have never acknowledged ICLW. So here I go about changing this rather tardy state of affairs.
IcomLeavWe (frequently shortened to ICLW) stands for International Comment Leaving Week and is the brain-child of the marvellous Mel (aka Lollipopgoldstein) over at Stirrup Queens.
For seven days each month, intrepid bloggers are invited by Lollipop to volunteer to be listed in the blogroll for ICLW. Each day we aim to leave 5 comments and return 1. Those brave souls that leave a comment on every blog on that month’s blogroll reach the grand status of ‘Iron Commentor’ and earn a blog icon to prove it.
ICLW provides the chance to find bloggers who are new to the infertility blog world. Participants hail from all over this big ole world, although many presume we are all writing from the good old U S of A. It seems infertility knows no geographic boarders.
ICLW also provides a means of making connections with other infertility bloggers who share circumstances similar to your own. Not feeling like a complete freak has gotta be a good thing, right? There is also the opportunity to hear from those new to infertility and/or blogging which is great too. It also shows that somewhere out there there are former infertiles having success….hello JourneyGirl!!!! Examples of this stuff actually working are – for me – what it is all about.
Now to the mandatory ICLW summary post:
Lifeslurper lives in a big brown land known as “Auuuustralia”. She was already aged (in reproductive terms) when first stumbling across the adorable (but completely vague) Wobbles. She was 42, he was 44. Shortly after our first “I love yous” came the now immortal words “Let’s have a baby!” Neither of us can recall exactly who had the fool-hardy idea first.
More than three years have passed since then. There were five IVF cycles, all of them fairly disastrous. Only one reached embryo transfer. There are no baby Lifeslurpers’ or Wobbles’ from previous relationships.
Somewhere our infertility was labelled as “unexplained” although the clinic seemed to view my age as explanation enough. We were given less than 3% chance of success, but the clinic was happy to accept our money.
Cycles were interrupted by various issues; three months lost to whooping cough, three house moves, and the usual dramas associated with coming up with the dough to fund this whole IVF tour of duty.
We hadn’t long set foot into our first fertility clinic when we realised that the process; the administration, the communications, the attitudes to older patients would be the hardest part of this whole deal. There were some gigantic mess ups on behalf of our clinic and our earlier fertility specialists, prompting the philosophical Wobbles to state; “It’s all about outcomes, not processes” Quickly it became obvious that our poor statistics were not the kind our clinic was happy to deal with.
The insanity we were witnessing and the need to find an outlet for the confusion that is infertility led to the creation of this blog. I thought the worst of our experiences had already passed before the first post was sent. The nightmare of a waiting room cancellation of our first embryo transfer (in front of other patients) we thought would see the end of our worst IVF had to offer.
Most Australian clinics will treat women with their own eggs up until the age of 45. I reached that magic cut-off point last year, not long after a last-stitch cycle that yielded my worst yet results: no eggs at pick up. Shortly after posting the update here I was at the receiving end of some anonymous comments from a poster who felt the need to taunt me for my failure with her own pregnancy. Those comments became my all time blog low.
This wonderful thing that had become a life-line was suddenly recalling the depression and avoidant personality condition I struggled to keep at a safe distance. Suddenly my IF sisters were not the endlessly loving and understanding souls I had grown to view them as. Being kicked off of the fertility clinic production line at the same time as receiving a huge whack from a cyclesista was truly the knock-out blow. It was to be a long climb back, I can tells yer!
Since that time there have been some changes. A(nother) new home, new kitties, new ideas. I’ve even managed to wrestle back my nice feelings about blogging. No one, no matter their motives, condition or mental health issues will ever come between me and my blog again! So there!
From the depths of IVF despair burn the embers of hope.
There are some new developments about to take place. Watch this space for the announcements really soon.
In the meantime, welcome to ICLW….enjoy your stay!
I’m glad that your blogging-vibe has resurfaced. I can’t imagine why another blogger would have done something so cruel – may she long suffer ingrown toenails and haemorrhoids as retribution.
I’m looking forward to hearing about the new developments…
Hi lifeslurper!
I love your writing and your descriptions of live and love and Australia! I’m glad you overcame the blogging blues to come back strong and I’m looking forward to finding out your news! Send that mean blogging biotch my way and I’ll publicly humiliate her and infuse her with never ending bad breath and B.O. !!!!!
I’ve had some “blogging blues” myself. Glad you found your way back!
Welcome back, I am glad you are here! I look forward to hearing about what is on the horizon in 2010. Its interesting how some well-meaning commentary can come across as so-damn insensitive!
I’m glad you have the blogging mojo back. Can’t wait to read all about it.
Happy ICLW!!
May that blogger who taunted you get snails in her flowers, hair on her chest, a cough that makes her pee in her pants and I hope she realizes what she’s done.
Hey Lifesluper, SO GLAD to hear you are back and will never let a wanna be Slurper get the best of you or Teddy for that matter. I missed you and have been bad too lately not reading as much as I should. I’m back and I can’t wait to read what new things are in store for you! xoxoxoxoxo
Glad to hear your blogging strong again. Good luck with your “new things” around the corner!
~ICLW
Hello there! I’m sitting here LMAO at your tagline “In fertility clinics no one can here you scream.” My tagline is “When Mother Nature Kicks You Right In The Ovaries” LOL. Happy ICLW!
I am so, so glad you are finding your blogging mojo again!
lmao!!!!!! @ the wishes from the bloggers above about the ingrown toenails and the pee when she coughs, lol!!!
stopping by here from ICLW
It’s disturbing to me every time I see or hear of someone leaving nasty comments on another’s blog. What kind of person does that? I’m sorry that someone scared you off, and at such a a raw time for you, but glad that you’re back and refusing to be knocked down again.
Very interested to hear of the new developments. Good luck!
so happy that you decided to not let one person with no manners keep you away from something important to you. i find it appalling that people in the IF blog world attack each other, and sadly it happens more than we admit.
welcome to ILCW!!!
I am sorry you had a bad experience with bloggers. I hope they offer nothing but support from here on out. Best of luck in your journey!
ICLW
I don’t have a ICLW Welcome Message either…I really should write up something for next month. Emotions are hard for me to talk about on my blog…and I want my Welcome Message to be something candid…it is just that some friends/family think that they have a say in every life issue I mention (not kidding). Hugs to you…your blog is your space and people should respect that.
I am glad you were able to overcome that rude ass cyclesista! Best wishes in your new bloggy and your new IF developments!
~ICLW
I hope you will be able to achieve your dream of having a baby! My friend just had her first at 43 after 4 failed IVF attempts and I know someone from my exercise class who just had her first child at 48 (although after too many failures, she decided to use donor eggs). Good luck! ICLW.
I’m glad to see that you found your blogging-vibe. It’s so sad that you had to experience the cruelty of such a short sighted blogger.
Best of luck with your blog and on the IF journey!
Stopping by for ICLW
Welcome back to the warm and fuzzy side of blogging. It is an unfortunate part of blogland that there exist some true assholes in the world who feel it is their place to bring you down. I’ve had my fair share of revolting comments and I totally understand how awful they can be.
I hope your bloglife is back on track – and that your IF journey takes a positive turn and ends with a baby for you and Wobbles!
{ICLW}
It’s sad but true that “infertility knows no geographic borders.” At least ICLW has brought me stories from Morocco, China and now Auuustralia!
Happy ICLW from Virgnia!
Good riddance to bad cyclesista and welcome back “slurps” Im loving your blog!
Glad you made it back!
Sometimes you just need that time away
ICLW
where have you been? Are you okay? How is Teddy? Miss seeing you, and hope you are all okay…..
PS I want to kick that Anon. commenter in the vajajay for the bad comments. PISSES ME OFF! {hugs}
I’m glad you’re back to the blogging world. How weird that someone would leave such comments like that… people can be really awful on the internet. At least that’s the great thing about ICLW is that hopefully you get great comments and meet some cool people in the process. Also- transfer in front of other patients?! Is this standard procedure in Australia? Crazy! It sounds like you’ve been on one whirlwind of a ride. I hope you find peace along your journey to build a family and I wish you the best of luck in your adventures!
Happy ICLW!
~Miriam (ICLW #110) Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed
Welcome to ICLW! Sounds like you have had a rough ride – I knwo this ride is rough for all, but soundslike you were kicked while down. Welcome back to the blogger-sphere. Hope you find lots of love and support and can’t wait to hear about the plans coming soon.