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Lifeslurper resides in a big brown land called Auuustralia. Her early years remain a mystery cloaked in a veil of depression.

Age 42 Lifeslurper meets the vague but gorgeous Wobbles. “What took him so long to arrive?” She asks.

They make their way together in the world just fine, but are not fine to make a baby – not without some outside help. Enter ART and 2008 the year of 4 IVF cycles & one lousy big fat negative.

Lifeslurper is now 47 years old! Time for a baby is running out fast, so too is her sanity. Now it's 2011 - Lifeslurper & Wobbles have moved into top baby making gear. Donor Egg Cycles are the way to go, after a long pause to take stock after a glorious donor egg BFP & the subsequent loss. This year saw 2 cancelled FET cycles, & and menopause causing delays.

Where to from here? After 10 cycles Lifeslurper & Wobbles now await their WobblyBub who is due in May 2012 - actually make that...um....*sigh*...what's the point?

I read the news today, oh boy…..

Readily admitting most of my dramas are self made is simple fact. Years of inner-reflection have been useful on many levels, yet today I find myself completely ill-equipped to deal with events outside of my experience and control.

 

When disaster strikes at levels previously unknown, what is the average person to do? How can someone not directly touched or affected by events assist? Is it understandable to feel as distressed as I do? I am sure I am not alone, as this seems beyond the scope of the average tragic news story. It will be quite a while before it goes away. Even  long after it no longer rates a regular mention in the media, it will be touching the lives of those affected daily – for many years to come. Yet as I made a quick stop at a nearby supermarket this evening I saw people laughing, chatting and outwardly showing no signs of distress. It somehow seemed wrong. How could we go about our lives with such ease. Why aren’t we as a nation in complete mourning?

 

Should I ignore events because they are for me ‘out of sight, out of mind’ or is it natural to grieve for lives I never knew existed, for homes I never saw, and towns I never visited? Would joining an ever growing list of Facebook groups help me? Can online social networking bring comfort or relief to the victims of disaster?

 

Frankly, I find these events beyond my comprehension. My sense of fear and dread is growing. I can not look away from the online newspaper, aid agencies and official police sites. All of the petty daily life concerns I held up until the middle of Saturday have disintegrated. The death toll is rising like some hellish game of bingo, where the numbers jump higher in an increasing rapid fashion.

Continue reading I read the news today, oh boy…..

Goodbye sand dunes!

With the arrival of every new calendar year comes that gaping sense of hope and possibilities, yet when you are in the midst of an infertility situation that no one (except an ever loving partner) see any chance of success, optimism is normally measured out in small doses.

 

This year is still in its infancy, yet so far it seems to be about endings.

 

Lifeslurper has a new home, the old run-down Camp Wobbles is no longer and the most enduring love of my life has gone. Both events coincided, as if to make what was always going to be a painful transition just that bit more straight forward.

Continue reading Goodbye sand dunes!

All a twitter about taking a stumble

Writing a blog is a funny thing. Starting out as a form of therapy to help myself cope with a life now focused on IVF and the race to conceive before turning 45, Lifeslurper has grown and received some attention, both good and bad.

Life feels far less isolated, sharing this experience with others. It is gratifying to receive complimentary comments about my writing and thoughts. I also have the challenge of facing critical reactions as well. Overall, this blog has been a positive thing and certainly helps me to feel less alone in my infertility and in the world generally. Continue reading All a twitter about taking a stumble

Sleeping in The Windy City

Not since Lifeslurper’s country childhood has winter seemed so harsh. This season reminds me of cold nights spent in the old family weatherboard farmhouse on a windswept hillside, where a young Lifeslurper would lay awake waiting for one of any given tall member of the surrounding pine groves to blow over and crush us in our sleep.

Here at Camp Wobbles headquarters, the wind whips directly from over the sand dunes head on into the external walls of this high set house. Here a much older Lifeslurper now lays awake and worries about IVF and waits for the winds to tear the roof off the house. Continue reading Sleeping in The Windy City