age « lifeslurper

Lifeslurper resides in a big brown land called Auuustralia. Her early years remain a mystery cloaked in a veil of depression.

Age 42 Lifeslurper meets the vague but gorgeous Wobbles. “What took him so long to arrive?” She asks.

They make their way together in the world just fine, but are not fine to make a baby – not without some outside help. Enter ART and 2008 the year of 4 IVF cycles & one lousy big fat negative.

Lifeslurper is now 47 years old! Time for a baby is running out fast, so too is her sanity. Now it's 2011 - Lifeslurper & Wobbles have moved into top baby making gear. Donor Egg Cycles are the way to go, after a long pause to take stock after a glorious donor egg BFP & the subsequent loss. This year saw 2 cancelled FET cycles, & and menopause causing delays.

Where to from here? After 10 cycles Lifeslurper & Wobbles now await their WobblyBub who is due in May 2012 - actually make that...um....*sigh*...what's the point?

Charting our way to a baby

Until my body manages to produce bar-coded mucus, Lifeslurper has not got much hope of understanding her own fertility – or lack thereof.

Is it too much to ask of medical science to create a special barcode reader for female mucus? A reader that is attached to its own measurement tool not unlike the DEFense readiness CONdition (DEFCON) used by the United States Armed Forces to describe activation and readiness levels wouldn’t go astray either! DEFCON 5 describes standard peacetime protocol, while DEFCON 1 represents expectation of actual imminent attack. RUMpy PUMpy requirement (RUMPUM) measurement would automatically tell us when it is time to “go for it” or “don’t bother,” unless of course there is a compelling interest or reason why you might actually want to, outside of this whole baby making routine stuff.
Continue reading Charting our way to a baby

Greatest infertility myths and clichés

IVF clichés and myths seem to go hand in hand with the burden that is infertility. I am sure we all experience varying degrees of these extra annoying platitudes delivered to in some way to reassure us by well meaning people who are well out of their emotional depth.

Blogosphere pal, Rho of Nobaby Lane recently unleashed a stinging, yet highly amusing post entitled ‘Stupid Fertiles’, a Top 10 list of the stupid things people say in regards to infertility. Continue reading Greatest infertility myths and clichés

IVF and the 116 year old princess

Once upon a time in a fertility clinic waiting room far far away Lifeslurper was drawn to a picture book sitting atop of the children’s toy box.

The beautifully illustrated book told the tale of Sleeping Beauty, a princess who at birth was honoured with precious gifts from fairy godmothers. And where one wicked fairy cast an enchantment over the princess deciding how on reaching adulthood, the princess would prick her finger on a spindle and die. Fortunately a good fairy was watching over the princess and commuted her sentence to one hundred years of sleep. From there she would only awake after the kiss of a prince’s son.

Continue reading IVF and the 116 year old princess

The Ifs, Buts and Maybe of the IVF Asterisk

It seems any discussion of an IVF cycle must take place with the mandatory asterisk.

We talk in terms of ‘If the drugs work’, ‘Maybe we will get to egg pick up’ and ‘But what if there is no embryo to transfer?’ It is all just so tentative. We tip toe around as if too afraid to say; “When we have pick up, and get a number of eggs that will make enough quality embryos for transfer….’ Such IVF confidence is beyond us.

For us there has to be an imaginary asterisk attached to every statement that must include all the ‘ifs’, ‘buts’ and ‘maybes’ so as not to alert the IVF gods to any unwarranted signs of confidence or the remotest hint of ease with this whole unyielding process.

Continue reading The Ifs, Buts and Maybe of the IVF Asterisk

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New to Lifeslurper?

6 weeks 1 day

Cycle 10 – Day 33: Day 10 Post 5 Day Transfer

10/01/11

The ART of Legislating Against Parenthood

Little IVF earthquakes

Mother’s Day

“Which way to BabyCo?”

Now…..where were we?

Aiming for the IVF stars

Because I did not wait to have children

The Loneliness of the Long Distance IVFer

Day One Mk IV

Message to My Baby

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