Today I have been clearing up the visual reminders of IVF. Seems every time we do a cycle the house becomes littered with paper work, FSH boxes, medical swab wrappers and the boxes that the FSH pen needles are packaged in. Perhaps if we could learn to become tidier we could make this stuff work for us? So far IVF hasn’t worked for us. Not physically, Not emotionally. After four cycles we have probably achieved our worst (or second worst) result. It doesn’t look like it will ever work for us.
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It seems any discussion of an IVF cycle must take place with the mandatory asterisk.
We talk in terms of ‘If the drugs work’, ‘Maybe we will get to egg pick up’ and ‘But what if there is no embryo to transfer?’ It is all just so tentative. We tip toe around as if too afraid to say; “When we have pick up, and get a number of eggs that will make enough quality embryos for transfer….’ Such IVF confidence is beyond us.
For us there has to be an imaginary asterisk attached to every statement that must include all the ‘ifs’, ‘buts’ and ‘maybes’ so as not to alert the IVF gods to any unwarranted signs of confidence or the remotest hint of ease with this whole unyielding process. Continue reading The Ifs, Buts and Maybe of the IVF Asterisk |
  
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