fertility clinic « lifeslurper

Lifeslurper resides in a big brown land called Auuustralia. Her early years remain a mystery cloaked in a veil of depression.

Age 42 Lifeslurper meets the vague but gorgeous Wobbles. “What took him so long to arrive?” She asks.

They make their way together in the world just fine, but are not fine to make a baby – not without some outside help. Enter ART and 2008 the year of 4 IVF cycles & one lousy big fat negative.

Lifeslurper is now 47 years old! Time for a baby is running out fast, so too is her sanity. Now it's 2011 - Lifeslurper & Wobbles have moved into top baby making gear. Donor Egg Cycles are the way to go, after a long pause to take stock after a glorious donor egg BFP & the subsequent loss. This year saw 2 cancelled FET cycles, & and menopause causing delays.

Where to from here? After 10 cycles Lifeslurper & Wobbles now await their WobblyBub who is due in May 2012 - actually make that...um....*sigh*...what's the point?

The Twelve Months of IVF

Newly post operative, post-illness and post-sanity Lifeslurper now attempts to dive headlong into the Christmas spirit by composing this yuletide re-work of a classic. To be sung to the tune of Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport….no just kidding…to be sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Note to all critics (especially those who have previously savaged my attempts at lyrics or poetry) go easy! To Lifeslurper’s kind readers, by all means make suggestions for improvement.

Merry Christmas to all! Wishing postive results for those still waiting for one, and great health to those now on their way to parenthood!

The Twelve Months of IVF

On the first month of IVF,
My fertility clinic sent to me
A bill for thousands of dollars.

Continue reading The Twelve Months of IVF

Joining the French Whooping Legion

Lifeslurper has just returned from her 87^th kazillionth doctors appointment in recent months. I am talking general practitioner here, the type of doctor you go see about everyday stuff, as opposed to the fertility specialist you travel millions of miles and pay zillions of dollars to see about how to not make a baby. Continue reading Joining the French Whooping Legion

The least worst of IVF

Lifeslurper has been experiencing the birthday blues particularly badly. Prior to IVF never did I fear the clicking over of another year. Signing up for ART at 42 my age was said to make a successful attempt at IVF unlikely. This week I turned 44.

All along advanced age has been suggested as the ultimate handicap to IVF. Yet logic tells me it can’t be. There are many other impediments in this infertility malarkey; they can be physical, emotional or financial to name just a few. I am merely experiencing one limitation (that I am currently aware of) of which there are countless more.

On any given day my fertility clinic peers are years (decades even!) younger. Some are even older. Many have gynaecological diseases, such as endometriosis, or important baby making equipment missing, such as an ovary or a fallopian tube (or two) due to reasons of hereditary or disease. Others have experienced non-gynaecological disease, such as cancer, resulting in their fertility being affected. Women might also be given the label of ‘unexplained infertility’ which can’t be much of a diagnosis at all to those it is directed.

Continue reading The least worst of IVF

Charting our way to a baby

Until my body manages to produce bar-coded mucus, Lifeslurper has not got much hope of understanding her own fertility – or lack thereof.

Is it too much to ask of medical science to create a special barcode reader for female mucus? A reader that is attached to its own measurement tool not unlike the DEFense readiness CONdition (DEFCON) used by the United States Armed Forces to describe activation and readiness levels wouldn’t go astray either! DEFCON 5 describes standard peacetime protocol, while DEFCON 1 represents expectation of actual imminent attack. RUMpy PUMpy requirement (RUMPUM) measurement would automatically tell us when it is time to “go for it” or “don’t bother,” unless of course there is a compelling interest or reason why you might actually want to, outside of this whole baby making routine stuff.
Continue reading Charting our way to a baby

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