Until my body manages to produce bar-coded mucus, Lifeslurper has not got much hope of understanding her own fertility – or lack thereof.
Is it too much to ask of medical science to create a special barcode reader for female mucus? A reader that is attached to its own measurement tool not unlike the DEFense readiness CONdition (DEFCON) used by the United States Armed Forces to describe activation and readiness levels wouldn’t go astray either! DEFCON 5 describes standard peacetime protocol, while DEFCON 1 represents expectation of actual imminent attack. RUMpy PUMpy requirement (RUMPUM) measurement would automatically tell us when it is time to “go for it” or “don’t bother,” unless of course there is a compelling interest or reason why you might actually want to, outside of this whole baby making routine stuff.
Continue reading Charting our way to a baby
