Ultrasound « lifeslurper

Lifeslurper resides in a big brown land called Auuustralia. Her early years remain a mystery cloaked in a veil of depression.

Age 42 Lifeslurper meets the vague but gorgeous Wobbles. “What took him so long to arrive?” She asks.

They make their way together in the world just fine, but are not fine to make a baby – not without some outside help. Enter ART and 2008 the year of 4 IVF cycles & one lousy big fat negative.

Lifeslurper is now 47 years old! Time for a baby is running out fast, so too is her sanity. Now it's 2011 - Lifeslurper & Wobbles have moved into top baby making gear. Donor Egg Cycles are the way to go, after a long pause to take stock after a glorious donor egg BFP & the subsequent loss. This year saw 2 cancelled FET cycles, & and menopause causing delays.

Where to from here? After 10 cycles Lifeslurper & Wobbles now await their WobblyBub who is due in May 2012 - actually make that...um....*sigh*...what's the point?

Averting disaster and recognising the difference

Travelling home Wednesday from my clinic ultrasound and the news that this cycle would miraculously live to see egg pick up, I counted down the kilometres to home with a sense of triumph.

My quiet sense of jubilation did not last the entire journey. Just under two hours from home there was a loud bang to the front of the car and some debris seemed to bounce off. I had not seen anything approach, and had not hit anything. Pulling over, I expected to see a blown tyre. But there was nothing obvious. It was hard to judge, having had to pull over onto the grassy shoulder at the side of the road. A hard kick of the tyres showed they were still inflated, so back in the car and pulling out back onto the road, there was still a problem. I limped into the nearby town that was only moments away.

Continue reading Averting disaster and recognising the difference

Cycling On (and on!)

Well.

I made it back from my epic travels in search of my fertile hopes. Just.

I’d dropped workaholic Wobbles off at his deserted office at 5.30 am and collected him after 6.30pm. I am certain that was not his longest work day ever. Not by far.

What a bizarre and very long round trip. So much had happened in between. For this IVF cycle, the news is mostly good. Another quick ultrasound revealed the two largest follicles as 15 and 12mm. Having spent the long journey down reflecting on these numbers, meant the stress of the situation saw me being unable to calculate with any confidence how much growth had been. A millimetre is such a tiny measurement. It means such a huge difference in IVF terms. On that short walk between Continue reading Cycling On (and on!)

The Loneliness of the Long Distance IVFer

Tomorrow I return to the city for that all-important extra ultrasound to see if Cycle IV is still viable.

This seems like so much time and effort just for a 5 minute assessment that is highly likely to bring bad news.

This increasingly torturous journey is quickly becoming some IVF rite of passage. My IVF hopes and dreams grow, twist and shrink with every bend along the way. By the time the city is in sight, my thoughts have processed every possibility many times over.

Sometimes I try to imagine how I would feel about IVF if travel wasn’t a factor. Then I think of those who travel overseas and interstate for the same purpose, and wonder however they manage to survive it.

Distance means usually leaving the day before tests and procedures are scheduled. We returned late Saturday from the last appointment. The next appointment takes place early Wednesday morning. The time in between has been spent recovering, worrying about the cycle and dealing with a rapidly deteriorating lower back problem.

Continue reading The Loneliness of the Long Distance IVFer

The Numbers Game

The equation goes something like this:

X follicles divided by Z ultrasounds plus ? mm expected daily growth injected with 47 subcutaneous 0.5ml antagonist from Day 6 less 3 Clomid headaches multiplied by Wobbles’ optimism diminished by my negative thoughts add a touch of our combined hopes and dreams balancing on the point of devastation equals zero eggs.

Clearly mathematics is not my strong point. Nor is follicle production for that matter.

Yesterday the mood around my Day 8 ultrasound was sombre. While Lifeslurper is never known to display great hope, the thought of the all singing all dancing antagonist cycle protocol had brought some secret thoughts of improvements in this broken down chemical ridden egg factory.

Continue reading The Numbers Game

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Averting disaster and recognising the difference

Cycling On (and on!)

The Loneliness of the Long Distance IVFer

The Numbers Game

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